I Want My HBO!

"It’s taken 10 years, but Bob (Odenkirk) and David (Cross) are finally have a new show of their own. They’re returning to HBO this fall with David’s Situation, a sitcom about a standup comic named David Cross (played by—wait for it—David Cross) who leaves Hollywood to live in the suburbs, where he writes for in-flight airline magazines and argues with his roommates, one of whom is a bleeding-heart liberal and the other a fire-breathing conservative."

This news may inspire me to start up my HBO subscription again after a 5 month break.

HBO shows to come back or air this year... Entourage this fall and...crap is there anything else airing? What about Big Love or another HBO classic series? What happened to my HBO?

At least Mad Men will be back in July on AMC!

Dancing hits the skids

Um, so I'm going on record to say that Dancing with the Stars sucks. Or at least I believe it does. I was a bit pissy tonight and decided to watch NOTHING on TV. I watched about 5 minutes of stars that I do not know dance on TV. I don't understand why I would even care about this.

Can someone explain it to me? Right now, I'm watching Kristi Yamaguchi twirling around with an umbrella. Why is this needed? Didn't she twirl enough before? Oh and their band sucks too.

This Dancing with the Star Wars spoof makes me happy for a little bit.

I'm going back to my hole now...

LOST REVELATIONS

"He's got frost on him, must have been somewhere cold." (mysterious tone)

"Kate is such a slut, she's taking her shirt off." (with disgust)

"HOLY CRAP!" (when gun shots fly)

"AHHHH! (screaming very loudly), RUN SAWYER, RUN!"

"I didn't know you liked Sawyer so much..." (amused, laughing)

"IS THIS when Claire dies? We know she dies right?" (confused on the Oceanic 6 plot line)

"Who is "they" again?" (growing tired of the Widmore storyline)

"Jack has an ulcer." (speaking as if gravely concerned)

"Was that shot in Hawaii?" (producer question)

"Probably on a volcano...?"(answering her own producer comment)

"Do you notice how Ben calls them by their real names? Hurley, Hugo? Sawyer, James? There's something to that." (astute observation)

"I knew he was going to say he would kill his daughter! (stating the obvious)

"Oh I hate that actress, the Penny woman, the fake smile lady, she's coming back? Oh man!" (petty jealousies)

THIS AND MORE REVEALED WHILE WATCHING THE LATEST EPISODE OF LOST ON A HOT BALMY NORTHERN CALIFORNIA FRIDAY NIGHT.

We can't ever go back to Arizona!

Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network has long been a staple for the late night munchie-loving crowd. But while network lynchpins Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Sealab 2021 have slipped into absurdist mediocrity, Frisky Dingo is quietly assuming the throne as the smartest, funniest and downright most ridiculous cartoon on AS.

Frisky Dingo is brought to you by the creators of Sealab- Adam Reed and Matt Thompson. They are proving adept at tearing down the cliches and archetypes of cartoon plots and characters. But most of all, they produce some awfully funny programming.

Frisky Dingo tells the classic story of the diametrically opposed supervillian and superhero. The supervillain, Killface, is hell bent on destroying the Earth with his $20 billion Annihilatrix. But like so many supervillains he just can't seem to overcome the gross incompetence of his underlings. He's also got quite a few cost overruns.

Superhero Awesome-X is the crime fighting alter ego of billionaire playboy Xander Crews. Crews is a petulant, easily distracted, selfish version of Bruce Wayne. Unlike Batman, Awesome-X's secret identity is a poorly kept secret. In the second episode, he uses his secret identity to cover up a late night rendezvous with a prostitute from his reporter girlfriend. In doing so, he unwittingly exposes Awesome X to the hooker ("Xander Crews, you're Awesome-X!" "ooooh...Oh boy.").

Frisky Dingo's plot is pointedly convoluted. The show is not about the actual hero/villain showdown. It's about all the trials, tribulations and headaches that come with the behind the scenes world of the superhero and supervillain. Single father Killface desperately wants to destroy mankind. He also wants to provide a nurturing atmosphere for his emotionally troubled, mumbling son Simon. And here he's got a $20 billion dollar doomsday device, but no funding for TV advertising. He grudgingly resorts to a direct mail campaign, the "dry hump of marketing." One of the many headaches he must deal with is that the Annihilatrix just might be causing cancer, at least according to the lawsuit of his project manager Phil.

Xander Crews has to deal with the financial burden of his crime fighting force/fraternity, the Xtacles. When Awesome-X defeats all the bad guys in town, suddenly the Awesome-X brand of Crews Enterprises is not so profitable. He's got to find a villain quick so he can market his line of Awesome-X action figures. Killface is the logical choice, but tricking the villain into signing a licensing deal proves extremely difficult. Crews Enterprises Chairman of the Board, Stan, admonishes Xander for turning all of the company's production lines into toy factories - "250 years this company has been in your family, and from slaves and smallpox blankets to soft core porn and semiconductors, it's always made a profit! And in one fell idiotic swoop, you've ruined it!"

And from there the plot goes on dozens of tangents. Characters are introduced and killed off. Shots are taken at everything from live action role players to corporate health care to product tie-ins ("How about that new Scion TC!"). Killface's best laid plans for destruction are ruined by small twists of fate and the stupidity of the world around him. Xander Crews is hilariously immature and a great parody of the billionaire playboy character ("My murdered parents wanted me to be happy and this can make me happy, Stan- fiscal sales of Awesome-X dolls!"). All of it grows more ridiculous by the episode. Season 2 turns into a presidential campaign between the Democrat Killface and Republican Xander Crews. I won't give away any spoilers but the twist at the beginning of Season 2 is brilliant stab at the pet issues of politicians.

Adult Swim may have the image of only appealing to the college aged male, but Frisky Dingo is too good to ignore. Along with fellow late night show "The Venture Bros.," Frisky Dingo is worthwhile viewing for fans of smart, elaborate, absurdist humor. Season 1 is available on DVD, and Season 2 is available from iTunes.

Rock the Cradle

My Thursday night guilty pleasure is MTV's "Rock the Cradle." Their irresistable premise: Take singing superstars like Bobby Brown, MC Hammer, and Eddie Money and pit their offspring against one another in a performing competition.

We're an audience that spent the last seven years watching "American Idol" and absorbing what makes a talent show works. Here's a new twist to a singing contest. Doesn't each generation want to outdo the generation that came before?

The ones with the least talent are sent packing pronto. Two were let go tonight -- Lil B. Sure, son of Al B. Sure, and Landon Brown, son of Bobby Brown. Both were good-looking guys, but they just didn't inherit that singing gene, unfortunately.

The judges call a spade a spade. "You don't have the star quality," "You still seem very awkward to me" and "That was painful!" are actual quotes. And the judges say this to their faces even with the hopeful's superstar parent in the audience.


In "Rock the Cradle," audience voting that makes sense! The contestant with the highest judges' scores has immunity. The audience votes for everyone else and the one with the lowest scores is eliminated. Tonight I'm voting for my two favorites:

Early frontrunner (and I predict runaway winner) is Jesse Blaze Snider (pictured above), son of Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider. I saw Dee Snider on MTV Cribs years ago and he was intelligent, likable, and obviously loved his family immensely. He's a savvy performer who raised his son to be just like him. Jesse Blaze is a 100% entertainer with star potential.

My other favorite is dark horse Olivia Newton-John's daughter, Chloe Lattanzi (above). She's unique, an artist, and will have a career despite what anyone says.

The remaining contenders include Crosby Loggins, the spitting image of his dad, Kenny Loggins. Crosby has his fans, but for me he (as Jesse Blaze puts it) "rocks the cradle to sleep."

Jon and Kate Plus 8

I've been catching TLC's late night reruns of "Jon and Kate Plus 8". The series chronicles the hectic lives of a Pennsylvanian married couple who have twin girls AND a set of sextuplets (three boys, three girls). That's a lot of people in one room.

The first time I saw Jon and Kate Gosselin and their large family was in an hour-long documentary shot after they had the sextuplets. One of the main plotlines of that show was Kate receiving a free tummy tuck from a plastic surgeon and getting a makeover. As a series, the show is now more "slick." The show's open, bumps, and teases are heavily produced. Each episode tallies with on-screen graphics how much the family requires, for example, to take a trip or for a week's meals.

There are a couple of seasons of the series already on the air. The twins are 6 or 7 years old and the sextuplets are 2 or 3 years old. Episodes depict very ordinary family events that are huge challenges for Jon and Kate. Hosting a birthday party for the six young ones, taking a couple of the kids to the eye doctor, shopping for Christmas presents, buying groceries to feed a family of 10 for the week.

Honestly, the show is compelling. Watching Jon or Kate prepare eight plates of food as the children sit around a long dining table, or maneuver in the kitchen with three or four young ones underfoot is something to see. The kids are normal and well-behaved -- by this I mean they're NOT setting the house on fire or maiming one another -- but they're still kids. Someone will be crying, another will be shouting, all will be in motion at the same time.

As parents, Jon and Kate perform some really remarkably kind and loving gestures. At the sextuplets' birthday party, each of the six younger children was serenaded by "Happy Birthday to You." It meant doing it six times, but each kid felt special on a day that IS special even if it is shared with siblings.

In one memorable episode, Jon and Kate dared to bring all eight kids to Toys R Us to help the kids buy Christmas presents for one another. At one point Kate wanted Jon to distract half of the kids while she attempted to make a purchase. When she needed help, she yelled to her husband in the store using words like, "Hello! Stop playing with those toys and help me here!" Later in the parking lot, Jon, with his back to the camera and his voice low but still captured on the wireless mike, complained to Kate that her yelling at him made him feel like a dog.

It is not, by the way, the only episode where Kate bosses her husband around.

Lately I've been watching newer episodes that seem rather contrived. In one episode, the entire brood went shopping for new beds. In the chaos that ensued with eight restless kids in a store (one of the kids was constipated and crying), Jon said more than once that they should've left the children at home. Another episode had the whole clan on a road trip to Disneyworld. Most parents I know would not brave shopping expeditions and extended road trips with two young children, much less six three-year-olds and two six-year-olds. The Disneyworld episode was flat out product placement.

These outrageous outings strike me as scripted or this show's version of introducing conflict. In the last episode I saw, Jon and Kate flew to Utah for a ski vacation with all the kids and two grown-up friends to assist. The trip and new ski jackets for everyone were donated by some company (whose name I did not note). The flight was diverted due to bad weather and the family spent several additional hours trapped on the plane.

Allowing a documentary crew to follow your unusual family for one or two specials is reasonable. But have Jon and Kate really considered what it means to their young children to grow up in front of reality TV cameras? The Olsen Twins grew up while making television, yes, but re-runs of "Full House" show them delivering their lines, not throwing a tantrum like Mady Gosselin did when she wasn't allowed to wear her flip flops on a trip. Will Mady live that down as she enters puberty a mere five years from now?

I'm not sure I can fault the Gosselins for choosing to do a reality show whether its to share their knowledge of raising multiples with other parents, or to make some coin to raise such a large family. But maybe the best thing for me to do is simply turn away and give them the privacy that all families need.

Spencer & Heidi Plus Eight

So I was (re)discovering TLC...I mean a TLC show my friend told me about called Jon & Kate Plus Eight tonight. Have you seen this thing? This monster of a family? Two seemingly normal adults with EEEEIIIGHHHT kids...a set of twins and a set of six-tuplets...wow. Makes my life look and feel so simple. As I'm watching this death defying show I start to wonder about The Hills...airing soon after. How would Spencer and Heidi do with plus 8? Wouldn't that be a good TV show? Man, it would be awesome. I'm really getting tired of these scenes where Spencer is waiting around on a couch and Heidi just wanders in and they have fake awkward moments. I'm real tired of it. And even more so, because I actually think the part about Spencer hanging out on a couch doing nothing is so not fake or staged. Don't you?

As I start to watch The Hills later I find that Audrina is rediscovering Justin Bobby (my favorite character on dirt reality). I start to go crazy and imagine "Justin Bobby & Audrina Plus Eight." Now that would be something. JB would be passed out and muttering and Audrina would be hopelessly lost and looking for photos of her with a top on. But they would have super secret communication with their kids where one would giggle and the other would mutter. And their kids would have really unruly hair, big eyes, and big teeth but somehow look half way decent.

Alter Eco on Martha Stewart!

Big news...I know someone who's going to be on Martha Stewart! Okay, well my friend's wonderful French boyfriend will be on Martha Stewart...

He's responsible for a San Francisco company called Alter Eco that distributes organic fair trade products. If you haven't had the chance to devour their delectable tasty chocolate, sip their lovely tea or enjoy their purple jasmine rice YOU ARE MISSING OUT. Go to the store and buy it. I swear by their brown sugar in my chocolate chip cookies. And I'm telling you their Dark Cacao chocolate bar takes me away from all my troubles. I really do know about this because my friend gave me an entire box of these things last year and it seriously helped me through some harrowing times. The best part of this story is all their products are fair trade- you are investing in small farmers across the world plus reaping the benefits of their crops. As globalization hits us (or smacks us really) we need to strive to create sustainable and ethical relationships with small farmers who benefit from improved working conditions and economic self-sufficiency. Check out the process of fair trade on their website.

Okay, I got distracted with the yummy food and fair trade rants...here's the details:

Edouard Rollet and Mathieu Senard making some purple jasmine rice with Martha on The Martha Stewart Show.

Wednesday, April 16th at 10am eastern/ 1pm Pacific.

Please check out Alter Eco and their fabulous products on their website.

This link allows you to find what channel airs the show in your zip area.

Kenneth and Mariah

So I know I'm a bit late on this...I'm old...I just watched the new (kind of weeks old) video of Mariah Carey's Touch My Body.

This video cracks me up for many reasons but mainly because

a.) My BFF Alicia and I would sing to Mariah on the local playground with a boom box in the early 90's and she looks much different than those days...and so do we??

b.) Kenneth is trying to act like his character on 30 Rock but you can tell he's having waaayyy tooooo much fun.

c.) I don't think he ever touches her body in the video.

Have a smashing day!

Normality

Ok, so 30 Rock is back, The Office and DP tomorrow night! Things are sort of back to normal I guess. The dinner party at Michael and Jan's house was just too much. Very awkward especially with Hunter's CD evoking Jan's carnal dancing, Michael's "past relationship" with Pam, and then all the vasectomy talk. And wait, Dwight's dinner date? An Amish (babysitter?) from a bus stop? Wow. But Michael's plasma TV was all too much.

MILF Island on 30 Rock warmed my heart. What better way to make fun of Survivor yet also connect with Liz's inner lust of being #1! THE BEST LINE was Kenneth's "Miss Lemon your eyes look like my uncle's after he would drink from the air conditioner." OH MAN! Still can't get over that. And then the Cathy cartoon right after, "Chocolate!, Chocolate!, Chocolate Aack!" Too much.

I just wish this all would've happened sooner. I hold grudges and I'm not over this delayed TV season. I'm still pretty bummed about the wait out of LOST. And I'm now really officially bummed because I took this "what DP housewife are you" quiz and I it says that I'm Susan my most unfavorite character on the show (actually I pretty much just pretend she doesn't exist). I've got very mean things to say about Teri Hatcher and I won't devulge unless you ask me to.

Oh and lastly while watching TV today my TIVO tried to record The Terminator again! Whatever!

Tivo Hiccups

I love my TIVO. I remember the cold and blustery night my husband bought his first Tivo. We were dating at the time and he dragged me into a Circuit City and haggled the sales manager for the floor model 1st gen Tivo recorder. This took about 30 minutes and resulted in a rock bottom price of $95. This was a real steal for 2000. We used that Tivo for awhile, it got us through 9/11, Sex and the City, Survivor, and all the shows on Adult Swim. We said goodbye to that Tivo recorder in 2005 and are currently still surviving on our 2nd gen. Now we have wireless hook up and can play all our music from our home computer, display photos from vacations for all our adoring friends, and buy TV and movies with Amazon unBox. Oh the glories! Hopefully someday (when we get our Tax rebate next month) we'll splurge for the HD set (finally!) with Tivo recorder. And I really regret passing up that lifetime membership in 2002.

So you can tell I love MY Tivo. Most of my shear moments of panic in life are when I lose my Tivo remote. For my husband it's when I routinely drop the remote on our hard wood floor every week.

ANYWAY, moving on, I'm here to tell you one thing that I don't like about my Tivo. After all these years it still records things we are NOT remotely interested in. Even programs that have 2 red thumbs down. We don't carry any wish lists for actors or directors and these aren't "Tivo suggestions" - this is real life choosing of shows. So really our Tivo has a mind of it's own. Tonight I came home to find CSI- Crime Scene Investigation recorded, this happens at least twice a month. I've NEVER watched this show and it's one of my most unfavorite shows on TV. Usually once a month it records The Terminator, one of my most unfavorite movies of all time. Before I know it it will be recording How I Met Your Mother or some other ridiculous sitcom. So something is amiss with my Tivo, it's not perfect. And I'm sure it's not my husband playing tricks on me.

Mama Tina

I crack up every time I see this trailer on TV for Baby Mama. Unfortunately I can't post one of the shorter TV trailers that I saw tonight but I put the official trailer below. I'm hoping this movie has some good laughs in it, there's various trailer commercials and all have different scenes which are all HIGHlarious so let's hope that translates to a hit when I get into the movie theatre.

Glad my favorite TV actress, Tina Fey, is in such a stellar movie. Favorite lines are "sorry for farting in your purse" "there's something wrong with your toilet" "what if that had been poop?" "did you just stick your gum under my coffee table" "bit?! i don't know your life!"




side note: Did you know that Tina Fey's real name is Elizabeth Stamatina Fey? How ridiculous is that, she was destined for hilarity.

Wholphin Gets Me

About 4 times a year a DVD comes to our door and makes us wonder. It's usually from some processing center that we don't know and we think..."did we order something from Amazon?" You'd think by now we would remember that we subscribe to an excellent DVD magazine called Wholphin by the makers of McSweeney's.

Wholphin is essentially a DVD with short films- animated, fiction, docs, scripted comedies, unscripted comedies, art installations, etc. Tonight when we plugged the latest into the DVD machine we were not disappointed. Every once in awhile the W will release a crazy thing I didn't know. Something so big I can't believe it arrived on my doorstep. AMERICAN OUTRAGE was one of those films.

Essentially this film follows two Shoshone Indian sisters, Mary and Carrie Dann, and their fight over their land with the US government, oh wait I mean US Mining Corporations. The Wholphin sums it up best..."In a nutshell, for the past 30 years the U.S. government has been quietly, illegally, re-claiming land it had previously ceded to Shoshone Indians and then selling it off to various mining interests. Did you know about this?"

Ok, so this is like my brother giving me his oldest hot wheels when I was 5 and then later realizing it had special powers and putting me in a choke hold and taking it way from me... right? I think so. This film was a riveting and beautiful tribute to these women and the Shoshone people. My husband and I couldn't get over the roughhousing the BLM officials inflicted on these women. Seriously it was astounding and outrageous. It's no wonder the United Nations condemned the actions of the US and their attempted seizure of Shoshone land in Nevada.

Right now on Wholphin's main page you can watch a clip of the doc.

Also, here's a mind boggling interview with the filmmakers Beth & George Gage.

(George F. Lee, Star Bulletin/AP Photo)

NY is Better

There I said it. Real Housewives of NYC really kicks the behind of the OC. I mean seriously did I need to tell you that? I'm a California girl true and true but everyone knows NY women really know how to get things done and live life!

I was just gmail chatting with my dear friend Thanh and we both agreed that the women on this series make watching a real addiction. These women- Ramona, Alex, Jill, LuAnn and Bethenny- in the NY version are smart, tough, they say what they mean not what their clothes mean, and really teach their children really important stuff like being independent, how to think, when to think it, when to breathe... Okay, so you know they have some faults but the energy and flavor is way up on this reality gem.

It airs on Tuesday nights on Bravo at 10pm and you should catch it. The best part is watching Ramona try to be high class and act 10 years younger than her body. Jill is my best friend or maybe I am Jill?? (please don't tell me). I cringe at Alex and usually put my hand over my mouth and gag when she's around her sissy husband Simon. And who really is this Bethenny? I think she's hiding something. She's off, how did she make the cut!? BUT LuAnn is flawless...I want to be LuAnn- class, smarts, beauty and I want all her dresses.

p.s. Sorry to blog all Bravo lately but not much for the pickins'