Caution...Bad Show Crossing!

Okay, so a bit ago I told you why I hated people who hate TV. Today I'll impart to you the TV shows I hate or that you should not watch at all cost. If you are watching one of these shows please turn it off!

Change the channel, the TOP 5 WORST SHOWS ON TV:

1. America's Got Talent on NBC. NO ONE has talent on this show, not the judges or the contestants. And you know what? It's not even funny that they don't have talent. American Idol is much better for humiliation and laughter.

2. Swingtown on CBS. Turn it off, no one's naked and no one's swinging and why do we care anyway?! This show is so bad I could smell it but I still wanted to watch 5 minutes to confirm.

3. Denise Richards: It's Complicated on E! Um, ok so Brooke Knows Best on VH1 is half way entertaining, even Tori & Dean Home Sweet Hollywood makes me slightly happy but this piece of crap is so sad it will burn your plasma. Seriously, Denise is not even a wreck. She seems perfectly fine and her life is in order. We don't care!

4. And on the note of Denise...her ex husband's show...Two and a Half Men on CBS is deplorable. I mean how has this show been on the air for 5 years. And I hear that Charlie makes over $800k each episode. The highest paid actor on TV, WHY??!

5. In Plain Sight on USA Network. I don't get this show. There's all these high profile actresses on cable TV making their own shows, Kyra on The Closer and Holly on Saving Grace, both on TNT Network. That is awesome but THIS SHOW is NOT! Stay away! Horrible writing and really bad acting!

OK, I've done my work. Got to get back to finding the good TV...

Dancing hits the skids

Um, so I'm going on record to say that Dancing with the Stars sucks. Or at least I believe it does. I was a bit pissy tonight and decided to watch NOTHING on TV. I watched about 5 minutes of stars that I do not know dance on TV. I don't understand why I would even care about this.

Can someone explain it to me? Right now, I'm watching Kristi Yamaguchi twirling around with an umbrella. Why is this needed? Didn't she twirl enough before? Oh and their band sucks too.

This Dancing with the Star Wars spoof makes me happy for a little bit.

I'm going back to my hole now...

Cashmere Mafia Sucks!

Sorry I didn't want to waste my time on a better title. What is the point of ripping off Sex and the City with this silly dreadful one hour show about "successful" drippy women?! Didn't we do this before? I loved the real thing on HBO and I don't need to see it patronized with formulaic story lines and characters using not so subtle ridiculous dialogue. What is with the comment about the "ID" generation? And talking if at 35 you created women's lib? Um, excuse me that happened with my mother's generation and she's 60 years old! And why does TV perpetuate the idea that successful aggressive women deserve to be alone? It is simply not reality.

I'll turn off the TV and go see four beautiful wonderfully smart classy women on May 30th at the movies. Here's the trailer.

I'm Not Going Down This Road...

So beware my friends, there's a show called October Road on Monday nights at 10pm that is the worst TV show on- not just right now- but ever. This show wasn't on my to do list this week but I happened to catch it because I was avoiding everything else I should be doing. I actually saw an episode from the 1st season and it only stunk moderately but I'm here to report that the stench from this drippy hopeless TV drama has only increased in its 2nd season.
And I have to hold my fingers over my nose and close my mouth tight so not to let in these irritating characters with their unreal town and boring moral dilemmas.

The worse thing about this show is the dialogue- it is not real. And it's not even basic real TV dialogue. It's almost like they are making it bad on purpose (as an evil joke) or someone thinks they are creating this world of new dialogue. People will never talk in complete sentences back and forth completely making sense at all times. So please- stop creating characters in TV and film that do.

Anyway, I must tell you why this really is the worst TV show ever. I tuned in last week and heard the names of the twins boys fathered by Ray "Big Cat" Cataldo, a hopeless character on this show. Anyway his children are named...Jasper and Casper. Yes, you heard me right..someone on TV named their twin children Jasper and Casper. And that person is a cat with a friendly ghost and a gem for sons. I should have turned off the TV right then and there and cancelled my cable subscription. I mean, really-terrible-this thing called TV is sometimes and I'm even more embarrassed that I wasted an hour or more (well, really sped through both episodes with Tivo) of my life on this show.

I guess ABC had these episodes lying around and due to an empty pantry they thought they would unleash us into this town nicknamed the "Ridge" with hopeless plot lines that run in circles. Please do not watch this, I've done the work for you. Please make it my Christmas present. But please put a pretty bow on it and bring me a cocktail too.